HMS TAAVI lyrics
All lyrics by Davy Mc Gowan
THE ROAD
The road is calling - canīt you hear?
It whispers low of far and near,
And tells me tales of pirates bold
And shops where candyfloss is sold;
And castles that are by the sea;
And toffee apples, all for me;
And says that just beyond the hill,
Thereīs chocolate trees to eat my fill.
KEEPING UP APPEARANCES
Jeremy played golf they say,
Before the war got in the way,
But even as they reached Berlin
He holed in one at the eighteen pin.
Jeremy played tennis, too,
Before the winds of war they blew
But even as the Third Reich fell
He reached match point at the Ritz Hotel.
THE HEIGH-HO SONG
Heigh-Ho down the road we go
In summer sun or winter snow
Heigh-Ho on our way we go
The sun may shine or the wind may blow
Heigh-Ho down the road we go
Into town to see the show
Heigh-Ho on our way we go
A love of life is all we know
Half past missing us, mother's kissing us
Waving in the doorway
Sun in the sky and the world is young
And we want to make the most of the day
Heigh-Ho down the road we go
Into town to see the show
Heigh-Ho on our way we go
The sun may shine or the wind may blow
Sweets by the pocketful, Love by the locketful
Not a care can find us
Running along on the old dirt road
With the big sun shining in the sky
Heigh-Ho down the road we go
In summer sun or winter snow
Heigh-Ho on our way we go
The sun may shine or the wind may blow
DAVY
Why should I do
What grown ups do
Just because
Iīm grown up too?
Why should I have
To watch what I say
Every minute
Of every day?
Why should I wear
Only sensible shoes
And read the papers
And watch the news?
Why canīt I run
And skip in the sun
Just because
Iīm forty-one?
SUM SONG
If the price of a cat
Is times two of a rat
And the answer subtracted from ten,
Of the price of a vole
Thatīs been pushed down a hole
And divided by fifty and then,
Added onto the cost
Of a rabbit thatīs lost
Any number of feet multiplied,
By how much you would spend
In deciding to lend
To a herring whose hands have been tied.
Now the answer, of course,
Is the price of a horse
Take away seven-eights of a pound
Of the money thatīs spend
Finding out where itīs went,
Not that itīs ever there to be found.
I LOVE THE BABY JESUS
I love the baby Jesus,
And hope that if I pray,
Perhaps Iīll get to meet him,
I think I might someday.
I love the baby Jesus,
And if he hears me pray,
Perhaps Iīll get to meet him,
I hope I will someday.
EMMAīS MAGIC BOX
The fairies made my magic box,
From rubies red and beaten gold.
In all the shops, in all the world,
Youīll never find its like being sold;
For when I say the magic words,
"Abracadabra, up and down,"
I lift the lid and thrill to see
Itīs full of sweets for Emma Brown.
THE BIG-NOSED BEAR
The big-nosed bear lived in a cave,
And men who thought themselves quite brave
Would wander in with cheery shout,
But none, as yet, have wandered out.
The big-nosed bear ate fruit and nuts,
And salmon from the fish-wifeīs huts,
For while they smoked by the sandy bay,
Heīd steal their fish and run away.
The big-nosed bear was old and wise,
And other bears were half of his size,
Thereīs some who say he lives on still,
In the big dark cave on the side of the hill.
DESIRES
"What do you seek?"
Said the man to the boy.
"Women and riches,
A lifetime of joy.
What do you seek?"
Said the boy to the man,
"Peace from the things
That you seek," he began.
"Peace from the women
Driving me round the bend;
Peace from the money
They all want to spend;
Peace from the 'joy'
Of a modern life;
Peace from the bankers
And peace from the wife!"
TROGLODYTES
Troglodytes live underground
Underground is all around
All around us day and night
What a lot of troglodytes
THE COTTAGE
If only I lived in a cottage
In a nice little glade in the wood
I would rise with the sun every morning
And be ever so, ever so good.
I would make tea and toast for my breakfast
With some marmalade, butter and jam
And Iīd sit at the blue chequered table
Thinking how very lucky I am.
In summer Iīd walk in the sunshine
And go fishing for fun in the stream
And if none of the fishes were biting
Then Iīd just close my eyes and Iīd dream.
In winter Iīd sit by the fire
In a rocking chair painted bright red,
And when I got tired Iīd curl up
With a hot water bottle in bed.
If only I lived in a cottage
In a nice little glade in the wood
I would rise with the sun every morning
And be ever so, ever so good.
LIFE
Life is such a strange thing,
An enigma donīt you think?
It makes some turn to Jesus
And others turn to drink.
Some great minds never make it,
While fools are hailed as Gods,
And as we find out daily,
The only law is Sodīs.
Life is such a strange thing,
It makes you wonder why,
One minute youīll be laughing,
The next break down and cry.
I think itīs just the journey
Upon a bumpy road,
And the best thing we can do in life
Is lighten each otherīs load.
THE GARDEN
The gardenīs looking lovely,
The roses are in bloom,
The scent of summer sunshine
Is wafting through the room.
The gardenīs looking lovely,
The grass so crisp and green,
To cover it with concrete
Almost seems to be obscene.
ADULTHOOD
Three blind mice met Jack and Jill
But couldnīt see them on the hill.
They passed going up and coming back,
But never yet saw Jill and Jack.
Three blind mice went out to play
Upon a fine warm summers day.
They started out with hide and seek
And lost each other for a week.
I FELL IN LOVE ONCE
I fell in love once
In a really big way,
It was love at first sight
So what more can I say?
I would see my sweet love
Every time I would pass
By the grandfather clock
And the big looking glass.
BARNEY BREE
Barney Bree, Barney Bree,
Ran from home and went to sea;
When he saw the Spanish Main,
He ran away back home again.
Davy Drew, Davy Drew
From his home one night he flew,
When a girl asked him to wed
He scampered home and went to bed.
THE TRAVELLING MAN
I wish I was a travelling man,
With hoary hands and a leathery tan,
With all my world upon my back
In a great big, rolled up, hessian sack.
I would walk down leafy country lanes,
And it wouldnīt matter if it rains,
For Iīd find a field and Iīd pitch my tent
And be dry whateīer the heavens sent.
And on sandy shore on summer nights,
Iīd sit beside a campfire bright,
Cooking supper up in a copper pot,
And Iīd thank the Lord for what Iīd got.
And Iīd see the dew at the break of day,
And Iīd see the stars going on their way,
And Iīd feel the seasons ebb and flow,
Like the tide, as on my way Iīd go.
I wish I was a travelling man,
With hoary hands and a leathery tan,
With the whole world waiting at my feet,
And nowhere to go and no one to meet.
NEVER TALK TO STRANGERS
Never talk to strangers,
Never wander far,
Never go with anyone
You donīt know in a car
Always wash your hands and face
And keep your hair combed neat,
And make sure that you never, EVER,
Shake hands with your feet.
OWLS
There were two owls,
Too whit, too woo,
Who made their nest
Inside a shoe,
And warm as toast
They slept all day
Inside their home
Of down and hay.
But as night fell
Their eyes grew wide,
And through the sky
They both would glide,
Between the stars,
Above the moon,
Till night would end
And all too soon
Two tired owls
Too whit, too woo,
Would settle down
Inside their shoe.
IF WISHES WERE HORSES
If wishes were horses
Iīd ride all the way
To London and back
In a space of the day;
To London Iīd ride
And then back home again,
With a locket for you
On a bright silver chain.
If wishes were horses
Iīd ride all day long
And Iīd whistle the tune
Of your favourite song
And Iīd whistle in sunshine
And whistle in rain
Till I found myself back
By your side once again.
MY LITTLE FINNY FRIEND
I like to call him Hoover,
My little finny friend,
He sucks up food the whole day long,
As though the world would end.
He swims around his aquine world,
Patrolling night and day,
I often think, "If he could talk,
I wonder what heīd say?"
PROMISES
If promises were always kept
And secrets never told,
The cat would never leave the bag
For all it was cajoled.
A FAMOUS MAN
How wonderful it is to be
By the salty, deep blue briny sea.
I can read my book and sip my tea
And no one knows Iīm me but me.
THE FALL
Alecīs in the hospital,
I heard his mother say so,
They came for him with gumboots on
And jackets that were day-glo.
They put him on a stretcher
And then carried him away,
To where the boys who fall of walls
Get plastered every day.
THE COLOUR GIRLS
I love crisps and lemonade,
And Sky TV and Liz Mc Dade,
And I know full well that she loves me true
For sheīs got my name on a big tattoo.
I love sweets and Desperate Dan,
And the World Wide Web and Carol Anne,
And I know for sure that she pines for me,
For she carved my name on a big pine tree.
I love steak and kidney pies,
And gazing into Monicaīs eyes,
And I know weīd fit like hand in glove,
For her eyes are liquid pools of love.
I love getting lost awhile
In summerīs sun and Margaretīs smile,
And I know that a smile can surely show
All the beauty of a heartīs warm glow.
I love snooker and football,
But I love Moira best of all,
And when I grow tall like the silver birch,
We will married be in the big white church.
WINTER VIGIL
In the frost and ice
Of a cold, cold night,
Thereīs a horseman rides
In the pale moonlight,
And heīs journeyed long
And has far to go,
And heīs travelling now
Through wind and snow.
In a small, snug room
By a fireside bright
Thereīs a rocking chair
And by candlelight
Sits a boy named Tom
And heīs listening hard
For the sound of hooves
In the cobbled yard.
And he hears the wind,
And he hears the snow,
As it congregates
On the room window,
But the sound that he
So longs to hear,
Will it ever, ever
Reach his ear?
In the frost and ice
Of a cold, cold nigt,
Thereīs a horseman rides
In the pale moonlight,
And the rocking chair
Slowly creak, creak, creaks,
As it has done now
For weeks and weeks.
BEST BEFORE
I donīt know why I feel this way,
Iīm definitely queasy.
I checked the best before date
And it all looked easy-peasy.
Was there some point that passed me by?
Perchance I overlooked it.
As chickens go, the chicken went,
Perhaps I should have cooked it!
CHANCE MEETING
If Herne The Hunter had met Billy Bunter
And theyīd each had a cream bun or two,
And talked over tea about both you and me
And of how there was nothing to do,
Would our history books tell of them getting so well,
Would it ever get into the print,
If Herne The Hunter lent money to Bunter
Because Billy Binter was skint.
THE DARQUALS
In days of disportion,
Of whice, whear and whin,
The slingering Darquals
Were mordish and thin.
They dined upon queever
And tarryboned quace,
And scranchles they caught
In a net made of lace.
They lived by the river
In moulthy dank holes,
Where rainwater dreeped
On their cadified souls,
And only when darkness
Had covered the land,
They snuffle and mulligrate
Up to the sand;
Coshent, yet trempted,
As Darquals must be,
By moonlight on water
And dreams of the sea.
Though living in darkness,
They still sought the light,
Ad info, ad expo,
With margeous delight.
Theyīd frockle and queezle,
Thereīs some even say,
Theyīve watched as they tripted
The fossian way.
Each mirthful and scramping
The blithe mellow miles,
With gandyfied woozers
And radiful smiles.
The moonlight their secret,
The starlight their guide,
No miggle too narrow,
No coggle too wide:
Simplicity welcomed
And lived with a will,
As schelsongs ascended
The hallibang hill.
THE ROBIN
Robin Redbreast travels far,
Without the aid of bus or car,
To cheer us up when days are cold,
And all the leaves have turned to gold.
I wonder why heīs choose to go,
To places where thereīs rain and snow,
If I should chance to have his lot,
Iīd fly to where itīs nice and hot.
THE FAIRY PATH
Just down the road from where I live
There winds a path of earthen brown,
The sound of passing cars grows faint
As on and on I wander down.
In summer, syrup sunshine pours
And sparkles on the stream below;
In winter, Jack Frost coats the grass
With icing and his flakes of snow.
But autumn, winter, summer, spring,
The waterfall still cascades down,
And in the trees the fairies watch
Me walk their path of earthen brown.
FRIED PORCUPINE
Never eat fried porcupine,
Especially the jaggy spine.
Remember, every time you dime,
Never eat fried porcupine.
And stay away from hedgehog pie,
Cause if you donīt youīre sure to die
And meet your maker, bye and bye,
So stay away from hedgehog pie.
And please, whatever else you do,
Make sure you donīt eat scorpion stew.
It chills the blood and turns it blue,
So best avoid the scorpion stew.
Baked Alaskaīs really cool,
It makes me lick my lips and drool.
If cabbage tasted half as nice,
Iīd clear my plate of every slice.
Apple pie is scrumptious when
Thereīs toffee sauce to pour and then
You cover it with cold ice cream...
Oh, doesnīt that sound like a dream!
Chocolate biscuits are a treat,
There never seems enough to eat!
I like to munch through three or four
But always feel Iīd like some more.